To walk by faith and not by sight, takes every ounce of what little belief I have but I’m going to hold faith and believe anyway. This business of wrestling with God till He answers is all I have for the present moment. No human intervention will suffice. No human help will suffice. What I need now is the fullness and presence of God, for in Him is all I need. This is not just some pie in the sky statement. It is matter of fact. It is the essence of my faith and believing.
Is God who He says He is? Does God really do what He says He can do? Can I really trust God? Can I tell Him how I really feel without reprisal? These are not indictments against the character of God. Because, let’s be honest, who would want to be in relationship with a god you fear will harm you or trample your will. Think about it. I’m not asking you to agree. I’m telling you my story and the rocky bumps jutting up from the ground of my not-so-strong faith. I am imperfect. I don’t always believe right or well. Sometimes I chose the lie. Sometimes I have doubted God. Does this make me any less of a Christ follower? Does it condemn me to a life in hell? Does it steal me away from faith? No. Continue reading
I give myself permission to question God. That is real talk for this right-now moment. And maybe you should too.
I’ve been reading through some of the Psalms, and the honesty I find there is eye opening. In Psalm 44, the writer asks God why he’s allowed evil to befall the righteous. They’d been following God, done what was right. They kept the commands, and yet their enemies triumphed. The psalmist notes how distraught the people were. (I think I would have been crestfallen too). The writer doesn’t hold back from questioning God, and neither should we. Continue reading
I’m not the first, nor will I be the last. Suspend all judgment for a brief reading moment. When was the last time you had a real, knock-down-drag-outfight with God? Real talk, now. Don’t lie. OR… maybe you’ve never had one of those.
When did you rail at the Sky, question, doubt, ponder, or even falter? Be truthful now. You’re only lying to yourself if you’re trying to cover up your “perfect view” of your faith walk. Can I just tell you something in this right-now moment? It’s okay. Later or soon, rather have it sooner than later, you will come to the crossroads of the breaking point.
You are not alone.
I’ve taken on another ecourse. Seriously, I may need an intervention, but I digress. I love learning. I love growing. I love deepening my thoughts and ideas about various curiosities. However, I can’t do that in a bubble. There is precious value found in living in community. It heightens, sharpens, and enhances much of what we do as individuals.
Living purposely in community is life affirming. Sure there are bumps, bruises, and soul contusions, but if we are honest about wanting to fully be all we’re made to be, then I think it (authenticity) really blossoms in community.
I want to write about ….
The heaviness of a heaving sigh
Souls writhing in want of release
Hearts captured and embraced in the divine
Hope in the unseen
Grace in the uncommon hours
Visions of wings unfurling full length
Flight in deepest deep and highest height