The Not-So Life

Having walked with Jesus for a while, I’ve come to see this life in a new light. There have been assumptions, misrepresentations, poor excuses, flimsy foundations, preconceived notions and the like. All of which have no place in this Christian life, or at least all of which come to nought at the foot of the cross.

Wrestling today with faith. The hope in the unseen. Believing in fruition while not seeing fruit come to bear. Happy-go-lucky doesn’t work. Pretending doesn’t work. Saying all is well and okay doesn’t work. Trying to “feel” better doesn’t work. I have come to the bright conclusion that all God cares about is me and nothing more. To Him it’s all about relationship. No, I don’t mean to put words in God’s mouth and speak for Him. I can only share what experience and His word has taught me. At the end of it all, he wants me—not my degrees, not my career, not my hopes, not my dreams, not my mishaps, not my misgivings, not my songs, not my writings. Now before your jaw drops in utter disbelief, stop. God wants every part of me. What he wants most of all is my heart. Nothing is worth more to Him than that. Look at the life of David. He was a man after God’s own heart. I want to be that kind of woman. One who chooses Him with reckless abandon.

What does that mean? What does that look like? It’s not the same for everyone. Each of us is on this journey—walking in faith. The more you walk, the more your faith is tried and tested. I desire that I may be found faithful about all else. Does this mean my life will be peachy? Does this mean my life will be always perfect? Does this mean that I will have my way always? Does this mean I always know what I’m doing or should do? Does this mean there will be no adversity? Does this mean I’m in some warped holding pattern till He returns? By all means, no! He’s looking under the surface—turning my life inside out. What does he find? Bones of unbelief, sin, faithlessness, harbored complaints, brittle belief? And when His fire comes, what remains? All tough questions. He knows the weakness of my frame. He spurs me on. He reminds my He is good. He reminds me that He’s still God. He whispers, “I’m with you.” He reminds me it’s not about me. He reminds me that his grace is sufficient. He reminds me that I don’t have to always be perfect. He stand between me and guilt. He pushes away with great forceful compassion the overwhelming tide of self and other criticism. It’s a battle. He’s fighting for me. He does for me what I cannot in any way do for myself. That’s my God. He’s my savior.

Today’s reality is that the not-so life and the almost will be but not here is not something for me to get bent out of shape over. The trappings of this life seek to crowd out the voice of the One who loves us so. The trials of this world seek to cloud the view of his steady eye on us. The temptations on this earth seek to derail an intimate life with Him. But God, our great and mighty God, will not have it so. Consider that he wants us to be with him. Consider that he is not willing that we perish forever separated from communion with Him. What can this mean? That he will not give up on us. That he will still show Himself faithful, patient, and longsuffering. Who wouldn’t serve a God like this? Who wouldn’t want relationship with a God like this?

A little something to consider for today—are you pressing into the Savior? Have you turned your eyes to the King? Have you forgotten your Good God and gazed at the domineering mountain of circumstance in your life? Journey with me. Let’s be real with the Lord. Let Him in on all that troubles you. Wrestle with Him. He’s not giving up on you. He’s not giving up on me. He is going to be faithful to complete a good work in each of us. Friendship with the King can be wonderful in ways we would not have thought. Beloved, now is your time to allow Him, the Father who loves you with an everlasting love, to make this not-so life an abundant life.

John 10:7-21, Psalm 27, Jeremiah 31:3


One thought on “The Not-So Life

  1. good words! the christian life is not about successes and failures. failures are a part of what makes us who we are because Jesus is a Redeeming God. He redeems everything when brought to the foot of the cross. He washes us clean, whiter than the snow. He invites us buy gold from Him, refined in the fire. Failures, mistakes, missed opportunities, and lost dreams are redeemed and purified by this holy fire.

    He is faithful!

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